We don’t need dope

On Monday, I went to gym as usual. It was there that I noticed this giant of a man pumping iron – he was humongous. His muscles’ muscles must’ve been oozing from the steroids in his blood stream.

And then it occurred to me – he must be a road cyclist. Just look at the Tour de Farce (oops, meant to say France), I don’t think there has ever been a year that one cyclist hasn’t been busted for doping.

But in all fairness, there is also a helluva lot of competition on the MTB scene. Cycling is a gruelling sport; it’s not just about physical strength, but also mental toughness. There are times where I find muscles I never knew I had ache, and my sex life has suffered from my inability to even take my shoes off without groaning.

However, do not despair! Instead of popping pills or enduring the humiliation of suppositories, there are many preparation exercises available to help you avoid the bitch known as pain.

Peeps, I promise you the difference between an average rider and a good cyclist is all in the preparation i.e. before getting on your bike.


One of the most annoying (and painful) things you can experience while cycling is lower back pain. Your ass starts to wiggle like you’re dancing in a Busta Rhymes video, and you feel like your grandmother without her walking stick.

This all stems from core strength. It means you’ll have to develop your conditioning. This can be done with the aid of a physio. However, it will probably cost you the car’s monthly instalment for a couple of appointments.

But never fear, Marky Mark is here. Here is an exercise that I learnt from my cycling club that may help you out.

Please note that if you feel any pain in your back while performing this move, STOP! Don’t be stingy, go to your doctor!

Lie on the floor with your knees bent, and lower your back onto the floor. Slowly, angle your pelvis forward, therefore leaving a small space between the floor and your back. Keep the movement limited to the lower section of your back. Hold the forward position for a couple of seconds and then return to the starting position by rocking your pelvis back and pushing your back into the floor. Try doing 10 reps.

Marky Mark

This entry was posted in Uncategorized by . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>