GREAT PICS!

We have a treat for all our loyal readers today. A professional photography company, Silversphere Photography, has kindly submitted some awesome MTB pics for our readers to drool over. Enjoy!

 

All photos taken by: David Taylor

All photos copyrighted to David Taylor

You can contact Silversphere for almost all types of photography by emailing them at silversphere.photography@gmail.com or via their Facebook page.

Bandaged Jack

Cycle Show

I just read that an annual cycle show is going to be taking place at Earl’s Court, London on the 9-11 October. I think its awesome news, but it got me wondering: does SA host any local cycling shows or expos?

I know we have shows like the Rand Easter Show, Soccer Expo, Auto Africa and even the computer one, Rage, but I’ve never heard of a cycling expo… I’ve tried googling it, but I can’t seem to find anything :/

Wouldn’t it be awesome to see the latest MTB gadgets and hot promo girls handing out branded water bottles, which are so much better just because they’re free? It would be the perfect opportunity for various companies, such as those involved in navigation devices and energy drinks, to showcase their latest products and developments.

Organisers, here’s your chance to pioneer something new for the local MTB community! You can thank Ricky and MTB Shorts by giving us a free booth if this ever happens…

Do you know of any cycle shows in South Africa?

Ricky in Spandex

IM with Pete

Yesterday, I logged onto MSN and saw that my buddy, Pete, was online. Now Pete and I haven’t seen each other since our drunken varsity days, so this was a bit of a catch up conversation…

Mark: Yo dude, howz it hanging?
Pete:
Mr missed-the-mark, I’m good n u, homey?
Mark: Lol. I’m gr8 bud, just doing some work…blergh!
Pete:
Awesome man, u still @ that accounting firm?
Mark: Yup, yup…and u?
Pete:
Still studying, boet. Doing my Masters now…
Pete: Where you hiding these days? We never c u @ the pub anymore…
Mark: I’m hectic into mountain biking. Training. Riding. It’s really cool and keeps you fit.
Pete: Mountain biking? So you’ve been riding around delivering newspapers like a paper boy lol
Mark: No man, MTB not normal cycling. We do dirt trails out in nature, my friend.
Pete:
Eish! That sounds um…boring…zzz…
Mark: Voetsek. U prob still benchpressing potato bags to get fit!
Pete:
lol
Mark: Don’t tune me, china. I’m fit and staunch now hehe
Pete:
So when am I gonna be seeing you on tv riding the tour de france?
Mark: That’s road cycling! Not MTB!
Pete:
Yeah, yeah, whatever Mr Contador!
Mark: *Expletitive* I’m not into road cycling ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Pete: No need 2 get upset. I’ll buy you training wheels for ur birthday!
Mark is now offline.

Please excuse the atrocious IM spelling, but this is an important issue I wish to address once again – MTB is not the same as road cycling ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! Thank you, enjoy your day.

Marky Mark

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 31

Like the self-implosion of egos that Real Madrid and Man City will suffer this season, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Till the law do us part’, Mike attends Julia’s funeral and leaves a rose bent into the shape of a mountain bike on her grave. He begins to cry before he sees her ghost (yes, Mike experiences many paranormal incidents). Julia’s ghost tells him, “Go forth my love. Find a new cycling partner that’ll love and treasure you”. Will Mike heed the advice from her ghost?

Tobias and Whitney arrive in the USA ready to get married and start fresh. However, once they move into their little home, they have the unwanted attention from all the snoopy old ladies in the town. It seems like the old ladies are more concerned that they’re living together as an unmarried couple than them being father and daughter. Will this unwanted attention prompt Tobias and Whitney to move quickly and get married?

Diana runs away with Hel-Met in the early hours of the morning. She can’t bear to see Petro cause more harm on her adopted son. They quickly board a plane to France, where they plan to catch the end of the Tour de France race and throw sticks into the path of the cyclists. Will Petro follow them or is Hel-Met finally safe?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter the awesome trailer for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 30

Like annoying car-washers and security guards at the mall, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Secrets and Spokes’, Detective Moon reveals to Mike that they’ve taken Julian in for the murder of Julia. Shocked, Mike wants to know why Julian did it and begs with Detective Moon to be able to talk to Julian. After being granted permission, Mike goes to the jail cells and asks Julian why he did it. Julian coldly replies, “Because she stole my mountain bike to give to you as a present…” Does Mike feel wholly responsible for Julia’s death now? Will Mike ever be able to let go of this guilt?

Tobias and Whitney search for countries where incestuous marriage is legal and there is a good MTB trail. All roads point to dodgy small American towns, where there are only weird laws. But will Tobias be able to get a visa considering that he’s half-Iranian? Will Whitney wait for him even though they can’t have a legal marriage?

Sanchez arrives back from his holiday in Mexico and vows to Diana that he will stop Petro from exploiting Hel-Met. When he finally confronts Petro, the dastardly rich man tasers the Latino gardener into a near epileptic fit, before putting Hel-Met on a plane for another MTB tour. Can anyone save Hel-Met from the monster Petro has become?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter a report of the latest celeb on Twitter*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 29

Like the deceitful cellphone ads that lie about full network coverage, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Finding Love in Dirt’, Detective Moon continues to investigate Julia’s mysterious bicycle wheel death. In a shocking turn of events, he discovers a set of bright pink gloves at the murder scene. He shows these gloves to Mike, who immediately realises that they can only belong to one person. Who is the murderer? I promise it will be revealed NEXT WEEK…

Tobias attends an MTB event and once again spots the woman that looks like Whitney in the distance. When he approaches her, she attempts to run, but Tobias grabs her arm before she can get away. He then rips her hat and glasses off to see who she is – it’s Whitney! They both begin to cry before falling into each other’s arms. Could this be the beginning of a beautiful incestuous relationship?

Hel-Met experiences burnout and begs with Petro to ease up on the competitions, but his adoptive father will hear nothing of it. He sees the marketing potential in Hel-Met and refuses to give up on a huge financial opportunity. Diana pleads with Petro to listen to Hel-Met, but he refuses. Will Diana call on Sanchez to stop the monster that Petro has become?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter the latest report on SABC’s financial crisis*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 28

Like the escalating sales of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Evidence and Alibis’, Mike reports Julia’s death to the police, who immediately take him downtown for questioning. Detective John Moon plays the good cop/bad cop routine with Mike, hoping that he’ll admit to the bicycle wheel murder. However, Mike doesn’t budge because he’s innocent. Eventually, Detective Moon lets him go when he discovers the bicycle wheel involved in the murder is from a road bike, not a mountain bike! Who could the killer be? Who are you, who, who, who, who *sorry couldn’t resist*

While walking on the beach, Tobias spots a familiar woman cycling further ahead – flowing blonde locks, toned arms and slender tanned legs. It looks just like Whitney! He races over to try and speak to her, but before he knows it, she’s disappeared into the sunset. Could it have been a mirage or is Whitney back again?

Petro enters Hel-Met in every single MTB competition he can find, when he realises the potential financial return of the prodigious boy. Diana urges Petro to not push Hel-Met too much, as he’s still in a stage of recovery from his EPO addiction. Petro doesn’t care – all he sees is profit from their adopted son. Will Hel-Met be pushed over the edge or will he deliver the goods? And is Sanchez still lurking in the dust-filled shadows?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter the latest report on Real Madrid’s hundredth signing of the summer*

Wendy The Mom

Fake Press Release

From the producers of smash hits such as Crossroads, Armageddon and Shanghai Noon, comes the next Hollywood blockbuster, Epic Adventures in Spandex.

Featuring a star-studded cast of Paris Hilton, Oprah Winfrey, Matt Damon and Sean Penn, Epic Adventures in Spandex is an against-all-odds drama about cyclist, Mikey Glaston (Damon), who dreams of achieving MTB glory despite his asthma and lazy eye. His mother, Kirsten (Winfrey), gives up her entire life to help Mikey reach his goal as king of the MTB circuit. However, in their path is the current MTB champion, Don Frederick (Penn), and his treacherous girlfriend, Rena (Hilton), who will stop at nothing to make sure that Don retains his title.

Behind the camera is acclaimed director, Jonathan Shoo, who says, “This movie is the hardest project I’ve ever taken on, but ultimately the most rewarding. The chemistry between the actors is unbelievable in this heart-warming tale of love and sport.”

Critics have said that it will most likely suck less than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

THIS PRESS RELEASE IS FAKE. PLEASE READ THE HEADING, BEFORE CALLING YOUR LAWYER.

Marky Mark

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 27

Like the pride I felt watching Bafana Bafana play their hearts out, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Secrets and Death’, Mike knocks on Julia’s apartment door, looking for some answers. He wants to know what she wants and why she used Julian to get to him. After no response, Mike busts down the door and finds Julia on the floor, with a bicycle wheel around her head. He checks for a pulse, but it’s too late – Julia is dead! Is Days of our Mountain Bikes experiencing its first ever serial killer storyline?

Tobias completes his community service at an MTB training clinic and then jets off on holiday to get away from it all. Still, he can’t help but wonder who actually helped him avoid some serious jail time. Who is this mysterious person? Will we find out next week?

Hel-Met returns home and Petro finally meets his elusive adopted son. Diana quietly returns too, but without Sanchez who has now disappeared. Hel-Met seems to be cured of his EPO addiction and is raring to get back on the bike and win some competitions. Will Petro aid Hel-Met on his path to recovery? Or will Hel-Met go back to his old drug-fuelled ways?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

RIP Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

Wendy The Mom

Minnaar is the man again

I’m going to come out and just say it – I’m a Greg Minnaar groupie! This man is incredible on two wheels. The sheer talent and resiliency he possesses is beyond belief.

At the fifth round of the Nissan UCI World Cup Downhill, held in Maribor, Slovenia, Minnaar injured his ankle during the qualifiers, yet still managed to claim 3rd place.

At 100%, I pray for a podium finish – imagine if I had an injured ankle?!

What made this victory even sweeter was that Minnaar claimed the leader jersey from teammate Steve Peat, therefore putting him on 914 points in the overall standings.

I’ve said it before; I think Minnaar is really superhuman. This guy just defies the odds countless times and performs with a vigour which should inspire young cyclists. If you’re looking for pointers on becoming a better MTBer, just watch the master, Minnaar, at work.

Credit must also be given to Fabien Barel and Sam Hill, who finished first and second respectively. Well done, gentlemen!

Ricky in Spandex