Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 26

Like the elusive goal that Bafana Bafana finally scored, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Into the Shadows’, Mike follows the mysterious woman, who disappeared into the shadows. Chasing after her, she finally notices that she’s being followed and climbs into a dark blue car, which whisks her away to safety. Mike manages to find a piece of torn clothing with the branding ‘Shimano’ – there was only one person he knew that wore that type of clothing – Julia! Will Mike go after Julia? Or will Julia go after Mike?

Tobias is given twenty hours of community service and can only see his son David, under Lorraine’s supervision. Lorraine cannot believe the light sentence he has received and urges the court to send Tobias to jail. However unbeknown to her; Tobias got a mysterious helping hand from a source in the legal department. Who could this mysterious source be? Does MTB Shorts love mysterious stories or what?

Petro realises that someone is out to get him and immediately suspects his wife, Diana. But when he goes to confront her, he realises that she has left on a plane with Sanchez to go pick up Hel-Met, who has now been released from rehab. What will Petro do? Is Hel-Met cured from his EPO addiction?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to another commercial on something random*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 25

Like random friend requests on Facebook, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Dangerous Packages’, Mike hides in the bushes and spies on Julian, who has met a mysterious woman outside the cycling shop. Julian gives this woman an envelope package – with contents unknown to Mike. The woman embraces Julian and then disappears into the shadows. What could be inside the envelope? Who is this mysterious woman? *Note to readers: come now, this should be easy*

Tobias appears in court on child assault charges. He pleads with the jury to understand that he acted out of anger and that any father, in his situation, would’ve reacted the same if they found out their child was *gasp* a road-cyclist enthusiast. The jury decides to postpone their decision till next week. What will happen to Tobias? Is it convenient that the decision was postponed?

Petro enters an MTB event, but he doesn’t know that Sanchez is hiding around a corner, ready to knock him out with a wooden log. Petro stops to have a drink of Energade *oh yeah, talk about product placement right there* and another rider overtakes him to his own peril, as he is knocked unconscious by Sanchez. Once Sanchez realises he’s hit the wrong man, he makes a hasty exit through the veld. Will Petro figure out that he was due to be attacked? Will he think the other rider was suffering from heatstroke, even though he had a huge lump on his head?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to another commercial on the ICC Twenty20 World Cup*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 24

Like the financial trouble the SABC are in, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Chess Pawn’, Mike and Julian start to train together. They’ve named themselves Team Freaky – it was Julian’s idea. Inadvertently, while Julian is in the shower, Mike answers his partner’s phone and hears a familiar voice say ‘hello’ on the other side – it’s Julia! Mike immediately storms out of Julian’s apartment without explanation. Is Julia really in cahoots with Julian to get Mike back or is Julian just a pawn in her game?

David’s mother Lorraine files a charge of child abuse against Tobias, who previously hit his son for being fascinated by road cycling. Apparently, ginger children can actually turn redder after a beating O_o Even so, Tobias is more disappointed by his son’s lifestyle choice than he is about the lawsuit. Will Tobias go to jail or will he do the right thing and accept his child no matter what his lifestyle choices are?

Petro comes home early and catches Diana in bed with Sanchez. He completely flips out and throws his Spanish gardener out the house. Diana tries to explain herself, saying that Sanchez was only giving her body heat because the electric blanket was broken. Foolishly, Petro believes his wife even after her 20th affair in three months. Part one of Sanchez’s devious plan is complete, but will he actually go through with killing Petro for illogical reasons – which, by the way, always form the basis of any soapie?  

*Enter jazzy music with a montage of the characters*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to another commercial on the superstars of the Confederations Cup*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 23

Like the footballing lesson Barcelona gave Manchester United, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Road Rage’, Mike tells Julian he’ll be his friend as long as Julian isn’t part of one of Julia’s latest tricks. Julian assures him that he isn’t. Friendship reunited, Mike tells Julian he wants them to ride together as a team and dominate MTB circuits. Is Julian telling the truth or is he really just a lonely sod?

Tobias takes David to the museum of bikes. As they walk around, David starts to ask more and more questions about road bikes. Tobias is horrified that his son may actually be interested in that disgusting sport and slaps him. As David cries, Tobias tells him, “I’ve never been more ashamed of anyone is my life. You are not my son!” The relationship between Tobias and David seems to be heading south, what’s going to happen next?

Petro begins training again with the assistance of Sanchez, who brings him Energade and fresh towels to clean his sweat. Sanchez begins to grow annoyed with his boss’s demands, and formulates a plan to sleep with Petro’s wife – when she comes back – and then kill him (yes, it’s cliché and completely pointless…duh). Will Sanchez go through with his plan?

*Enter cheap jazz music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on funny bears*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 22

Like Eda the primate and brothers who are actually their mother’s sister’s cousin’s fathers, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Friends Forever?’, Mike eventually comes out the closet (literally) and confronts Julian, who reveals that he’s actually Julia’s long lost twin brother. Julian explains how he got lost in an MTB race a couple years ago and nobody turned around to find him. In a heartfelt moment, Julian tells Mike that all he needs is a true friend. Will Mike become Julian’s friend again or is Julian hiding something from him?

Tobias gets concerned about his ginger son, David, who has developed an unhealthy obsession with Star Wars and model cars. He immediately takes action and invests in some old school Jean-Claude van Damme films to instil a hardcore, masculine nature in his little boy. Will Tobias accept that his son is possibly just a child and doesn’t care about masculinity at the tender age of 10?

Diana doesn’t come home – instead she travels to the fourth round of the MTB World Cup in Madrid, where she hopes to get an autograph of Steve Peat for Hel-Met, who’s still in rehab. Petro is still livid about the events that occurred whilst he was gone. He asks his Spanish gardener, Sanchez, to clean out the tool shed and bring him his old bike. Is Petro making a comeback to the MTB circuit? Will Diana ever tell her husband the truth? Can Sanchez speak English?

*Enter cheap jazz music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on the latest Dan Brown inspired film (rolls eyes)*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 21

Like handbags being thrown around in parliament and Maccy D’s using processed rat meat, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘All in the Family’, Mike changes cellphone numbers to avoid Julian. He then decides to hide in the closet at his bicycle shop, while Julian searches the town for him. Why is Julian obsessed with finding Mike? Will Mike come out of the closet, literally?

Tobias begins to teach his son, David, how to ride a bike. While it brings father and son together, it doesn’t fill the void left in his heart by Whitney. Tobias doesn’t want to live in a world where father and daughter can’t get married like ordinary people. Will Whitney make an appearance again or is Tobias doomed to live his life without his daughter/lover?

Diana’s husband, Petro, returns after a long vacation in Russia. He is left in complete disbelief over the events which have occurred whilst he was gone. Just who is Hel-Met and why has Petro been paying rehab fees for him? Diana will have a lot of explaining to do once she gets back from her massage at Li Chung’s Happy Endings. Will the return of Petro also signal the return of Melanie and Sanchez?

*Enter cheap jazz music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on buying the inauguration broadcast, which was broadcast for free on Saturday, from the national broadcaster (DUH!)*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 20

Like dropped phone calls and non-existent 3G, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Kish Me, Shweetie’, Julian starts to get closer to Mike. After a beer one night, Julian moves over and tries to kiss Mike, who absolutely freaks out and tells him, “Yo man! I’m not a Jonas Brother, I don’t swing that way!” Julian runs after Mike telling him he’s got something important to tell him, but Mike has disappeared already. What does Julian want to tell Mike?

Whitney writes Tobias a note, telling him she knows about him being her real father. She drops it off in his mailbox and then runs away, vowing to never return (psssht…yeah right! Episode thirty – ‘The Return of Whitney’). Tobias reads the letter and remains heartbroken. He’s all alone and has a ginger child – can life get any worse? Will Tobias finally move on or will he wallow in his misery?

Hel-Met begins to rid himself of his EPO addiction, but at the same time he is now developing an undesirable need for energy bars. Diana thinks she may just lose her little adopted boy to the authorities if they find out that he has an addiction problem. Will Hel-Met kick all his addictions or will he pull a Britney and have a meltdown first?

*Enter cheap jazz music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on the new Hugh Jackman film (drool)*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 19

Like annoying internet bloggers (such as myself) and political parties boycotting fast-food chains, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Double Trouble’, Mike wins his comeback race and then heads out with runner-up, Julian, for some celebratory drinks. Mike can’t help but notice the similarity between Julian and his ex Julia. Could it be that Julian is really Julia or that Julia had a long-lost evil twin brother?

Whitney stares at photos of a mountain bike and can’t help but think of Tobias for some unknown, bizarre reason (this is a soapie, therefore it is allowed to be odd and completely equivocal). Whitney doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to accept Tobias’ ginger lovechild. Whitney rummages through her mother’s old documents and finds her birth certificate which says…no, it can’t be…Tobias is her real father! Will Whitney confront Tobias with her shocking discovery or will she decide to runaway and return ten episodes later? 

Hel-Met is whisked off to rehab to cure his dangerous thirst for illegal performance-enhancing drugs. Diana can’t believe it – it’s a crime that there are no vacancies at the Betty Ford centre and little Hel-Met had to end up in a regular rehab centre for disgraced wrestlers. Will Hel-Met finally overcome his addiction or will he find away to buy EPO from John Cena’s former tag team partner?

*Enter cheap jazz music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on faster internet connection being available from Ethiopia*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 18

Like irregularities in the Zimbabwean elections and the latest Nando’s ad, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Rest in Peace’, Mike begins to train heavily as a distraction to Julia’s latest betrayal. The ghost of his mother appears and tells him that he has done the right thing and he has now allowed for her ghost to finally rest in peace in cycling heaven. Will Mike win his race or will Julia somehow creep back into his life?

phoeberick

Tobias accepts his ginger son, David, but realises that he may have lost Whitney forever. David is happy to have his father back in his life and also to have one extra person who likes the ginger kid. Will Whitney accept Tobias and his ginger son or will Tobias slowly forget about his forbidden passion?

Diana discovers that Hel-Met has been experimenting with EPO and confronts him. Hel-Met screams at Diana to leave him alone, but a moment later collapses from apparent sore nipples. The doctor checks Hel-Met out and tells Diana that her adopted son is suffering from a hormonal overdose in his body. How will Diana take this news? Will Hel-Met have regular nipples again?

*Enter cheesy music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on a beer bottle cap*

Wendy The Mom

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 17

Like long, long weekends and returning to the office hung-over, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Ginger Love’, Julia sends a classified ad to a cycling magazine begging for Mike’s forgiveness. However, the ghost of Mike’s mother appears and makes sure that the advert doesn’t get printed, therefore protecting her son before his big race at the MTB tournament. Will Julia get another printed ad or will she find Mike and attack him before his race?

stephanieTobias sends Lorraine a summons demanding a divorce. Lorraine writes Tobias a letter back telling him that he has a long lost ginger child, named David, that she has kept a secret from him for ten years. Tobias is in shock. How could this happen? Well…we know how it happened, but ginger? Will Tobias open his heart up to his ginger kid or beat him worse than Satan’s step-child?

Hel-Met decides that he wants to enter more and more tournaments to prove that he is the best cycling prodigy of his generation. Diana starts to get worried that her little boy may be experimenting with EPO to compete at such a high level. Will Diana do the honourable thing and rummage through his personal stuff without telling him or will she just support her adopted son?

*Enter cheesy music*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Fade to commercial on a monkey drumming*

Wendy The Mom