Parody Interview with John Cena

MTB Shorts got some real muscle in today’s post, because we’re interviewing wrestling superstar, John Cena*

Mark: Hi John, thank you so much for chatting to MTB Shorts.
John: Cool, cool. Thanks for having me around to discuss some cyclenomics!

Mark: Cyclenomics…interesting word. So how did you get into mountain biking?
John: I always used to ride my bike to school and eventually decided to become a member of the chain gang when I had spare time over the weekends, in between pumping iron and rapping with Vanilla Ice.

Mark: Do any of the other superstars do MTBing?
John: No ways! Those guys are always on the injured list. If they just see a bike near them, they freak and drop to the floor calling for the EMTs.

Mark: But if the other superstars did join you on the track one day, what would you do?
John: I’d give them an attitude adjustment with a little bit of a 5km shuffle and then taunt them by waving my hand in front of my face and saying ‘you can’t see me’!

Mark: Thanks for your time, John. Good luck for your future battles ahead.
John: It’s ah-right. I’ll be seeing you at Summerslam in…

*I cut him off. I’m tired of wrestlers always promoting the next big PPV event*

*This interview is entirely false, because we all know that John Cena is busy putting on his makeup for Monday Night Raw right now

Marky Mark

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