Parody Interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger

Woot! Woot! I’m really so excited to showcase the transcript of my interview with the governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger! This all-round action hero shared some of his feelings on MTB with us*

Mark: Hi governor, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to chat with MTB Shorts.
Arnold: No, thank you for this privilege to discuss an important matter, you puny looking man.

Mark: What important matter are you talking about? And I’m not puny – I’m just feminine looking…
Arnold: MTB is just like any other sport. You need to give 110%. I urge everyone to train harder. Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed.

Mark: Okay, so what would be your advice to someone who wants to become a better cyclist?
Arnold: *he flexes his arms* Get these two weapons of mass destruction right here.

Mark: But what if the person doesn’t want to gain muscle mass and just wants to cycle for the fun of it?
Arnold: Are you crazy? Who doesn’t want to have big guns? My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don’t think about it, I just have it. So should you.

Mark: Um…yeah…so next question, what would you do if you rode past a cyclist who needed assistance?
Arnold: I’d wave and say, “Haste la vista, girlie man”.

*sigh, another dumb interview*

Mark: Alrighty then, well that’s about it. Any last words for our readers?
Arnold: I’ll be back.


*This interview is entirely false, because we all know politicians only give interviews to Larry King and Oprah (ugh!).

Marky Mark

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