Nando’s Magalies Recap

If you can remember, the MTB Shorts team recently previewed the Nando’s Magalies Adventure event, and today I have the pleasure of bringing you the news and results from the event.

In what best can be described as a whitewash, The Toyota Supercycling team of Shan Wilson and Andrew McLean won all 3 stages and took the overall victory at the Nando’s Magalies Adventure at the weekend.

And if Toyota Supercycling didn’t prove their dominance enough, their other team of David Labuschagne and Tinus Buys took second place ahead of Martin Hogan and Karl Kielblock.

It looks like Toyota is getting some quality dynamos in MTB. Now, if only I could get that sort of performance from my 1997 Toyota Tazz. Oh well, I guess it’s maybe time for me to upgrade to a Yaris hehe

Click here to see photographs of this year’s event.

Ricky in Spandex

A real interview with Sergio Pereira

MTB Shorts decided to finally conduct a REAL interview! We managed to get hold of up-and-coming writer and journalist Sergio Pereira and find out his views on MTB!

Mark: Hi Sergio, thank you so much for taking some time out to chat to MTB Shorts.
Sergio: It’s only a pleasure, Mark. Thanks for the opportunity.

Mark: So Sergio, how involved are you in the MTB scene?
Sergio: To tell the truth, I’m not an active cyclist or a full-time “cycling writer”, but I’ve actually done quite a few articles on MTB and it’s actually been very interesting. It’s completely different from your typical soccer, rugby and cricket articles – it’s more about fitness and strategy, than actual personalities.

Mark: Yes, that’s very true. MTB is a completely new ballgame. Have you ever been to an MTB event?
Sergio: Yes, I have. I’ve actually been to quite a few Northern Farm events and even managed to get lost on the course a couple of times haha.

Mark: Oh we’ve gotten lost there so many times! Tell us what have you been writing lately?
Sergio: I’ve completed a couple of articles for DESTINY MAN magazine, which I think is on sale today, and I’ve just finished an interview with an Australian band, HorrorWood Mannequins, for Music Review. Besides that, I’ve just finished writing my second book. I write way too much haha.

Mark: Thanks for your time, Sergio. How can our readers get hold of you, if they need some writing done or want to see some of your work?
Sergio: They can follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/scpereira and they can drop me a mail at skullandtones@hotmail.com. Once again, thanks for this opportunity and keep up with the entertaining MTB Shorts posts.  

Marky Mark

Custody Battle

I had the biggest chuckle yesterday as I read the news about Tour de France winner, Alberto Contador.

Recently, Contador has been getting some rather fruitful offers from rival teams, which has prompted him to come out and say he’d like to start afresh and with a new challenge.

However, his team Astana has warned any potential suitors that he will have to honour his contract until the end of 2010 and they won’t allow him to leave until then.

Man, this sounds a friend’s recent divorce. Him and his ex wife fought for months in court over their son Barry. Barry wanted to live with his dad, but his mom wanted him to live with her. It all ended up in court and it was such an ugly experience for the poor boy to endure.

Maybe Contador is a little like Barry in this situation. I expect plenty of tears and drama soon. Damn road cycling hehehe

Bandaged Jack

Parody Interview with John Cena

MTB Shorts got some real muscle in today’s post, because we’re interviewing wrestling superstar, John Cena*

Mark: Hi John, thank you so much for chatting to MTB Shorts.
John: Cool, cool. Thanks for having me around to discuss some cyclenomics!

Mark: Cyclenomics…interesting word. So how did you get into mountain biking?
John: I always used to ride my bike to school and eventually decided to become a member of the chain gang when I had spare time over the weekends, in between pumping iron and rapping with Vanilla Ice.

Mark: Do any of the other superstars do MTBing?
John: No ways! Those guys are always on the injured list. If they just see a bike near them, they freak and drop to the floor calling for the EMTs.

Mark: But if the other superstars did join you on the track one day, what would you do?
John: I’d give them an attitude adjustment with a little bit of a 5km shuffle and then taunt them by waving my hand in front of my face and saying ‘you can’t see me’!

Mark: Thanks for your time, John. Good luck for your future battles ahead.
John: It’s ah-right. I’ll be seeing you at Summerslam in…

*I cut him off. I’m tired of wrestlers always promoting the next big PPV event*

*This interview is entirely false, because we all know that John Cena is busy putting on his makeup for Monday Night Raw right now

Marky Mark

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 34

Like the epic brain-drain that the world seems to be suffering, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Foetal Fears’, Mike tells SexyShorts66 that he’s reluctant about attending church with her, because he’s only true religion is his constant adventures on two wheels. SexyShorts66 blasts him by saying, “Leader does not appreciate blasphemy. Be careful Mike, for you may have just unleashed your own private hell.” SexyShorts66 is now offline. Will Mike change his mind?

The hillbillies burn down Tobias and Whitney’s home. When they go inside to find the carcasses, they are surprised by a completely empty house. There is nothing or no one inside! What could’ve happened to Tobias and Whitney?

Trying to overcome post-wheel depression, Hel-Met gets back on his bike. Alas he can’t go any further and he collapses into a foetal position, surrounded by a puddle of tears. Diana tries to assure him that everything will be okay and that Petro is a million miles away from them. But as she says that, Petro quickly jumps out the shadows and puts his hand over Diana’s mouth, muffling her screams. What will Petro do to Diana and Hel-Met? 

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter the terrible mascot for the FIFA World Cup*

Wendy The Mom

Charity Rocks!

I’m really impressed with Christoph Sauser! Not only is he a world champion cyclist, but he’s also got a heart of gold!

Bike Pure is auctioning off a signed rainbow jersey of Christoph Sauser for the Songo.info charity, which the rider has officially backed for the last couple of years.

This local charity aims to support the children of Kayamandi via sport and education, and try keep them away from a path of drugs and crime.

The rainbow jersey aka The World Championship jersey, was won in June 2008 in Val di Sole, Italy. It has spent the past year travelling on display as a symbol of Bike Pure’s efforts to promote clean, doping-free cycling.

The autographed jersey is framed (93 x 71 cm) and includes a caption which reads “Christoph Sauser (Team Specialized), 2008 World Mountain Bike Champion to Bike Pure”

To participate in the auction, click here. Hurry though, as it ends on the 17th August 2009!

Ricky in Spandex

Build a relationship with your cycle shop

Last week, Fred stupidly reversed over his bike while it was in the garage. Just imagine this: a huge Hummer vs. a tiny Merida bike…the winner is very obvious. Anyhow, Fred was rather upset about it because we had our annual ‘best friends’ race on Saturday, and at this stage, his bike was beyond repair – it looked more like a Transformer robot stuck in a sad morphing stage! 

After wiping the tears from his eyes and the snot from his lip, he took out the phone and called his local cycling shop. In an unexpected turn in the Era of Bad Customer Service, the store managed to organise him a similar bike (and set up too) in just 24 hours! Fred couldn’t believe the amount of effort the guys put into helping him and in such record time.

Needless to say, Fred managed to make the event and even grabbed second place, just a couple of seconds behind me…the champion!

Kids, the moral of the story is that connections are really important. Remember these key points which will help you build a better rapport with your cycling shop:

  • Visit regularly, even if it’s just to buy a magazine or stupid accessories for your bike.
  • Make sure they know about your set up.
  • Ask for their advice.
  • Support them. At the end of the day, one hand washes the other. 
  • Friendliness goes a long way!

Bandaged Jack

Days of our Mountain Bikes Part 33

Like the weird, conniving ways of politicians, so are the days of our mountain bikes…

In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Cultnomics’, Mike continues to chat to SexyShorts66, who always talks about a strange church that she attends. She tells Mike that he should attend a service, because it’s a really amazing experience to see all the people chanting and doing what their ‘leader’ tells them. Will Mike go to this ‘new church’ and find the leader?

Tobias puts on his old cycling gear as a disguise and spray-paints the town hall with the words: ‘Love never dies, but inbreeders will!’ The hillbillies go nuts when they see the desecration – immediately assuming it was Tobias. They grab their pitchforks and torches, and head towards Tobias and Whitney’s home. Is this the end for Tobias and Whitney?

The nightmares don’t stop for little Hel-Met and Diana decides to take him to see a psychologist. The shrink tells them that Hel-Met is suffering from post-wheel depression – it’s a new disease that happens to burnt-out riders. The only cure is for Hel-Met to get back on his bike again and conquer his demons. Will Hel-Met be able to overcome post-wheel depression and the lurking shadow that reminds him of Petro?

*Enter cheap 80s theme song*

Stay tuned to what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!

*Enter the crap new Ninja Turtles cartoons*

Wendy The Mom

Nando’s Magalies Adventure

Next weekend is the 3 day, multistage mountain biking race known as the Nando’s Magalies Adventure. Starting on the 14th and running until the 16th August, this event will prove to be a fun event for nature fundis and MTB fanatics alike.

The event will kick off on Friday night with a night stage of 25km, followed by a second stage of 75km on Saturday, and a shorter 45km on Sunday.

Magaliesburg is a beautiful, conservation area and I’m sure that you’ll have many mental Kodak moments after this event.

Click here to enter (entries are open until 300 teams are finalised)

On the plus side, if the race sucks, at least you can grab a mild Nando’s chicken on the way home. Which reminds me, what the hell am I making for supper tonight?!

FURTHER INFO:

www.magaliesadventure.co.za

Marky Mark

Minnaar Crashes!

Local cycling star, Greg Minnaar, experienced a high speed crash at the UCI Downhill World Cup in Mt. Ste. Anne, Quebec. Yet despite this, he managed to get back on the saddle and finish in 22nd place. This misfortune has unfortunately cost Minnaar in the overall standings as he slipped from 1st to 3rd.

In the same event, Steve Peat claimed his 50th career podium when he finished in 2nd place. Clap, clap Stevey!

 

MEN’S RESULTS:

1: Samuel Hill (AUS) 4:38.44

2: Steve Peat (GBR) 4:41.48

3 Aaron Holmes (USA) 4:42.91

 

MEN’S OVERALL STANDINGS:

1 Samuel Hill 1039

2 Steve Peat 1035

3 Greg Minnaar 973

4 Gee Atherton 931

5 Mick Hannah 821

 

Ricky in Spandex