Interview with Ralph Wiggum

Somehow, we managed to score an interview with The Simpsons’ resident oddball, Ralph Wiggum. Apparently, Ralph loves to cycle. Be warned, this interview may be hazardous to your brain…

Mark: Hi Ralph, welcome to MTB Shorts.
Ralph: Hello. Where is cycling mommy?

Mark: Err…do you mean Wendy?
Ralph: Yes, she’s nice. She smells like unicorns.

Mark: Um…okay then. So Ralph, do you enjoy mountain biking?
Ralph: I love fountain hiking. It’s wet just like my bed!

Mark: No, mountain biking.
Ralph: I’m Ralph. Who are you?

Mark: Ralph, it’s me – Mark. Remember?
Ralph: Hello Mark. Choo-Choo!

Mark: Okay Ralph, do you like bicycles?
Ralph: Yes. I ride over rainbows, where I find the leprechaun that tells me to burn things.

*Ralph stops talking for a moment and then nods his head a few times*

Mark: What colour is your bicycle, Ralph?
Ralph: It’s red. It’s the colour my mommy gets when I get carsick on her carpet.

Mark: Um…alright Ralph, we are done. You can go home?
Ralph: I thought this was my house. Argh! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

PLEASE NOTE: This interview is entirely false, because we all know that Ralph Wiggum is a figment of Matt Groening’s imagination.

Marky Mark

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