Fake Press Release

From the producers of smash hits such as Crossroads, Armageddon and Shanghai Noon, comes the next Hollywood blockbuster, Epic Adventures in Spandex.

Featuring a star-studded cast of Paris Hilton, Oprah Winfrey, Matt Damon and Sean Penn, Epic Adventures in Spandex is an against-all-odds drama about cyclist, Mikey Glaston (Damon), who dreams of achieving MTB glory despite his asthma and lazy eye. His mother, Kirsten (Winfrey), gives up her entire life to help Mikey reach his goal as king of the MTB circuit. However, in their path is the current MTB champion, Don Frederick (Penn), and his treacherous girlfriend, Rena (Hilton), who will stop at nothing to make sure that Don retains his title.

Behind the camera is acclaimed director, Jonathan Shoo, who says, “This movie is the hardest project I’ve ever taken on, but ultimately the most rewarding. The chemistry between the actors is unbelievable in this heart-warming tale of love and sport.”

Critics have said that it will most likely suck less than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

THIS PRESS RELEASE IS FAKE. PLEASE READ THE HEADING, BEFORE CALLING YOUR LAWYER.

Marky Mark

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