Like illegal substances at road races and Lance Armstrong’s latest Olsen twin, so are the days of our mountain bikes…
In today’s episode of Days of our Mountain Bikes titled ‘Behind Blue Tyres’, Mike is saved by literally the skin of his spandex. A mysterious man known as Marcel has been following Mike around, and he has managed to pull Mike up to safety just as it looked almost certain that Mike was going to plummet into the abyss. When Mike finally gathers his breath and goes to thank Marcel – he finds that the Good Samaritan has vanished! Will Mike ever see Marcel again? (Duh, of course he will – this is a soap opera and characters die and come back to life more than boyband “one-off” reunions.)
Diana wakes up to find that Hel-Met has run away to go live with his brother David Banda and Madonna. Diana is heartbroken for a whole nine seconds, before she has to go get ready for her waxing session. Will Diana now long for her daughter Whitney to finally come back home or will she fight the Queen of Pop for custody of her cycling prodigy?
Tobias decides that he must send Whitney back home, so that she will never know that he is truly her real father. With every waking moment, Whitney falls more and more in love with Tobias, never once questioning the similar jaw-line, hairline, mouth, nose, eye colour, and two identical moles they both uncannily share. It looks more and more inevitable that Whitney is either going to suffer from a broken heart or move into a trailer park.
*Enter cheesy music*
Find out what happens next in the Days of our Mountain Bikes!
*Fade to 20 minute commercial on disgusting coffee and biscuits*
Wendy The Mom